I had fallen asleep while talking to him and woke up to his call. He sounded worried.
It was 4:00 am and I was stuck between reality and the dream. Where am I? I panicked. Oh just my room. But why are all these lights and lamps switched on? I looked around, confused, trying to figure out. My room was brightly lit with all the fancy lamps I have always liked. The windows were wide open offering a beautiful view of the full moon against an aphotic night sky. I shivered while the cold breeze danced around me, making the tiny hair on my arms rise. I looked around some more. Everything seemed to be on it’s place except for that one box beside me. Why, oh why is it here at this ungodly hour? Why? I locked it up in a drawer I never used, didn’t I? I looked at it. Millions of memories swirled around me along with the wind making me gasp in fear. All of a sudden I could hear all those sound, the laughter, the cries and the bitter sweet words. What is happening? Why now? I tried to brush away the panic and recall some of the memories against my own will. They made me smile and cry at the same time. The times at the beach where we held hands for the first time,sitting at our favorite spot talking for hours, the never ending text messages, the sound of his laughter, my eye rolls, his slight smirk, my constant scowling, our own version of a happy world, the late night phone calls. The phone call?! I could hear the alarms ringing back in my mind but the flashbacks were too vivid to let anything overpower them. I realized I was grinning like a idiot between the non stopping tears. His face was so clear in my memories I could stretch my arm and touch him. His eyes, full of love. That smile, my favorite smile, playing at the edge of his lips. His messy, unruly hair and the black shirt I loved the most. I smiled again.
“Speak something please.” He said interrupting my reverie. I realized he was waiting for me to speak on the other side of the phone. An uninvited feeling of anger ran through my body and I snapped involuntarily, “What?!” “Uh-umm I was worried. You vanished. You’ve been quite for last 15 minutes, not responding to anything I said.” “I… Uh I was caught between the reality and the dream.” I said. He sighed. I can almost imagine his worried looks and the concern in his eyes. “Are you okay?” I asked and regretted as soon as the words escaped my mouth. “Yes, absolutely. I’m okay and happy as a gay butterfly. No! How can you even ask that?”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to say anything. I looked around my room once again. It looked dark even with every single source of light switched on. I hung up on him and curled beside the box of my memories. I chose to let the dreams hug me and take over the reality for that moment. I think I drifted to some unknown world I never wanted to leave.