Writer’s Block

There comes a time in your life when you have a million thoughts stacked up in your mind, several things pending, projects in the pipeline, work waiting to be done, words waiting to be said and you amongst all those quintessentially awesome and incredibly messed up things find yourself disconnected. Detached. Its like you want to flow with all the force but everything in the obvious and obscure time and space is holding you back. To me that’s a writer’s block.

Not being able to let go, not being able to let it all out and especially when words fail me.

I found these ‘Dyslexic fragments’ in an abandoned folder in my phone.

Thought I’d share. Just for the sake of words and all that’s beyond them.

*

He and the entire idea of his being are two things I can never wrap my existence around. Will there ever be enough words, expressions, sighs, touches, heartbeats or moments to make him aware of that?

Will there ever be enough of me to contain enough of him?

Fuck it! I don’t need to.

*

Incredibly close, utterly exquisite and unbearably distant.

What?

Your existence.

*

A pang of pain, a rumble in her chest.

His crooked smile that looked more like a smirk.

Shoes. Her broken heels.

The pile of their clothes at the edge of the bed. Broken pieces of glass everywhere on the floor.

Her need to break, completely. His desire to fall for a broken heart.

Will white pants go with this teal V-neck? Dilemmas.

The need of being loved. To love. Unconditionally.

For her to be his. His precious jewel.

Misery and mystery. The despicable games that can be played.

Adrenaline rush. Drugs running in the veins. Choking on the smoke from the cheap cigarrettes.

A death every moment. A death by choice.

The loss within.

*

Barefoot in the moonlight. A trance created by the joyous souls.

A goodbye to last forever.

The story of the night. Every other night.

The curse in the polite conversation.

The fall of the desperate kingdom of love.

Despise.

Demise.

Disappear.

Relive.

*

Oh the sweet dilemma!

Oh these winter nights, they do wonderful things to you

Oh this magic in the air, it takes thee to a whole new world

And these winds, they whisper so many tales in your ears as they pass

Of union, betrayal, joy, despair, longing…

Of pairs of feet walking these streets, silently, hand in hand. Surrendering.

Oh this pitch blackness of the night, revealing and concealing

The smell from the coffee and the ashes from the cigarettes!

And then the story between you and me, folding and unfolding

The spark, the conversations, the ignited light…

A sudden joy has filled my soul, a sudden excitement has replaced the fear. Is it the wind or the blues or the whole concept of knowing you?